After a few weeks on the wards, I almost always develop a feeling of heaviness...not exactly sadness, more of a sluggish feeling. I'm not sure if I am taking on too many concerns for my patients, if it is the bad hours and workload, or what...though that's not too much of an excuse lately (as I have been keeping a relatively light census and haven't had bad calls). Usually, it passes after a day or two, or less if I'm lucky. Makes it hard to take care of stuff I need to do for myself. Or maybe it's just pms....I have been needing a lot of naps lately. Progesterone: the world's best sleep aid. Sometimes, I get this feeling when I am on a rotation where I am not interacting with enough people during the day, but that doesn't seem to be the case right now. Actually, this feeling might be passing already. I've been reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh tonight and it reminded me that I am whatever I choose. So, I'm trying to choose to be peaceful tonight, and it seems to be working so far. Working in the yard/garden didn't work for improving my mood tonight, but reading and sitting quietly after dinner did. I'm getting better at being alone....that encourages me!
I've been pretty busy lately outside of work too...sometimes I think I fill my life too full, so occasionally I'll cut it back. It doesn't always leave enough time for me to do what I need to do for myself. So, I am trying to give myself time tonight and just relax (after doing the most urgent things: cutting the grass...it was about to get away from me!) . Next time I have a chance, I will be planting the iris my mother gave me last fall...which have been in storage. Nice thing about bulbs. Hopefully, they will like their new home and bloom for me!
I've put in some pictures of the house and yard. I love my azaleas! The cat is not mine...I call him "Socks." He belongs to someone in the neighborhood and is extremely friendly...pushy even. He scared me one day ( I just about jumped out of my skin!) when he climbed a tree and hissed at me because I wasn't paying enough attention to him.
1 comment:
gorgeous azaleas. i have been playing in my yard a lot as well. it is so much fun to go and watch all my flowers and plants growing. i spend my post call days weeding. it takes care of all my frustration and exhaustion.
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